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G. David Schwartz  (email)

 

About the Poet:

G. David Schwartz is the former president of Seedhouse, the online interfaith committee. Schwartz is the author of A Jewish Appraisal of Dialogue, and currently a volunteer at Drake Hospital in Cincinnati, Schwartz continues to write. His new book, Midrash and Working Out Of The Book is now in stores or can be ordered online here.

 

 

Oh, I Liked The Hula Hoopís

 

Oh, I liked the hula hoops

They kept my eyes spinning

And my lips, yes my lips

They kept right on grinning

Yes, I liked the hula hoops

I kept right on staring

I watched my girl friend 

Seen her under-wearing

I so liked the hula hoops

They were so light and fluffy

Iím just a little sorry

They did not fit around me

I so liked the hula hoops

Only one thing did out do them

Donít you know ho ho ho

First on the list was the yo yo

 

 

Sucking The Wind Right Out Of The Air

 

Iíve been standing up

But not upside down

No, Iíve been up standing

The other way around

Iíve been doing well

At least that what I do tell

And yet its so hard

To even ring a bell

Iíve been sucking the wind

And if I go out again tomorrow

I will do it once again  

 

 

M And Mís On Rye Bread                      

 

M and Mís on rye bread

What is better than that?   

Except a layer of chocolate pie

All labored with such fat

That is would hold up

Eighty or ninety elves

All who sit on the big farm

Seething for themselves

Sitting sloppily in the sun

Waiting till the frying gets well done

M and Mís on rye bread

Delicious as can be

If you ever see this treat

Please garb a bunch for me

Not for the whole of me Ď

Simply for my belly

Three pounds ought to be enough you see

Too much would be unfettering

And why too much would be unending 

 

 

You Are A  Beautiful Girl   

  You are a  beautiful girl
  That is certainly  true
  And I hope you do  know
  I want to get  with you
  You are  stunningly attractive
   If only in your  face
  But you are so  pretty
  I can Ďt look  any other place
 


  Angie Is A  Friendly Girl   
  
  Angie is a  friendly girl
  Nice to  everyone
  Always has a  smile
  Always gets her  work done
  But she don't  ignore you
  When you pass her  buy
  And just today I  got a hug
  Oh my oh my oh my
  Angie is a  friendly girl
  At least always  to me
  Talks about her  fishing prowess
  Her hearts  bigger than the sea
 
 
 

I Couldnít Hide My Memory

                       

I couldnít hide my memory

Out beyond the deep blue sea 

That far out is not for me

Out beyond the deep blue sea

I once lost my memory

My clean pure thoughts left of me  

They fell I know not where 

And any way I canít think to care

 

 

 

I Can Feel Teri Smiling


I can't see up to heaven

And I can't even see to Cleveland

But I can see my sister

Sitting at the gate 

Smiling down on us

Making love in the day

Were everywhere else outside

There is war, as always

And deaths as before

And I feel her shy laughter

At the wooden door

Oh Teri, the sweetest of us all

I just stander her awaiting

For and upon your call     



Got Nothing At All Too Say

I have nothing at all to say 

Not a simple thing to drive you away

And I got not a thing to think

Or take apart of even drink

I have nothing to laugh about

And no one to cry with

So I guess I'll just sit were alone 

All alone all by myself



I Like Doves

I like doves

they're so pretty and divine

they are a symbol of peace

and I think that is fine 

but what I like bout doves

more than beauty and  symbols of peace

they fly  around but have no teeth

now I love dogs that cannot fly

who have the fur and look you in the eye

I truly think that they all 

from German Shepard to the  Lassa

can stand for some peace 

 

 

 

I've Been Sitting Here Looking

 

I've been sitting here looking

For what ya got cooking

But it's a shame don't ya know

Its 11 o clock and you didn't show

I may be here tomorrow

Sitting to wait out the show

But I do what you to know  

I've been sitting here looking

 

 

Put Your Head In A Vat Of Pudding

 

Go ahead, put your head

In vat of turpentine

No, why not?

It wouldn't feel fine

So get out there

Out of that chair

And do something good

Put you head down on a block of hard wood

Don't think that will be good

Well put your block of wood

In a giant vat of putting 

What do I care about it?

If you get sticky wet

 

 

The Metaphysical Fix Of Cruelty

  
The metaphysical fix of cruelty
Is credibility really wrong
For it just stands outside limbs
Of sweet and abstract songs
The metaphysical fit of cruelty
Is standardly really bad 
As in the dearth of dances
The worse time I ever had
Until that day in mid July
The whose time of cruelty
The whose time I ever had
When chocolate milk was outlawed
And everything just  turned  bad 


 

Wanita  King
Wanita  King
In  everything
Wanuta  King is good
Because  she is nice
Even  when cold as ice( he he)
Jawntia  is really so sweet
But  what a name,
Wanita
Need  I say I was never good in spelllimng

 

 

Imagine  Cobb


To  rhyme I would say she is a slob
But  that is so far from the truth
She  is a beautiful woman
That  delicious imagine Cobb
I  can be truthful and say
Her  beauty stems from her heart
Through  her smile
And  her beauty shines through them both

 

 
My Head Is Heavy


My head is heavy
And my legs are light
I am turned upside down
My arm is stiff
And my hair is gray
Now I am turning proud.

 

 

Bobbie And Milt

 

I have never met Milt

He is in the hospital

But I have met

Bobbie  (Roberta,)

And am both glad and proud to know her

She is s nice to everyone

 

And corrects with peaceful tone
 

she is truly a sainted woman.

Reminds me of my dear wife

 

 

Cameron Diaz

 

Cameron Diaz, with a beautiful face

Is invited to meet with me any place

She is so beautiful

And so seditious

I cherish her in many ways  

 

She is an angel of fate

And high I've never had a date

I am wholly adorations

To be my fate

So I shall not speak in or with clichť

 

And the truth to say

A gorgeous Minsk of dreams

She reminds me of

 My very first love

An no one else it seems  

 

 

Eat At Lonely Tables

           

I have been talking to myself

When no one else is listening  

And I have ben telling all my secrets

Yet not a soul was caring

So I will keep talking

And eat at lonely tables

 

 

My Memory


My memory shines when I think
Of Bev Newman in a bathing suit
She was so gorgeous
And with no real purpose
She was agonizingly cute.

 

 

Bob Schockler

 

Bob Schockler

I never knew

If you were bold or

If you were not true

 

I may have got a wind

A notion of it then

If they called you Robert

And if you had a yen 

 

To grow to be a philosopher

Somewhat like me

Or a guitar player

Something like Robert McGee

 

Well now to be honest

I never knew a Robert McGee

So I am sure

I never knew me 

 

 

A Voice Under Water

 

Iíve been singing for you

Hope you feel it too

 For all my entire life

At leady the last twenty years

I have been singing for you.

 

I wonder why fish donít fly

And I care truly that you get gloomy

And for all my entire life

I have wanted you by my side

And I have been singing for you 

 

But my life is not fortunate

So unfortunately not smarter

I have pleased for you

As sure an as true 

As a voice under water

 

Trimble McCullah 

 

Trimble McClullah

Was a nice fella

Back in the days of yore 

When he was young

He played the drums

And he was a lot of fun

 

Trimble McCullah

What did happen?

Did you drop out of school?

You were polite

Never got in a fight

You were no fool

 

For Bev

 

You are lucky you are a blond

Thatís all I have to say

For you will never know it

When you start turning gray

 

Because my dear wife 

A lovely woman you know

Goes into a bottle

To get her healthy glow